If jealousy does not exist in this world, how great would it be that you do not have to quarrel with your love ones.
Once the smile was joyful, now it's fake.
You know I once thought that by loving someone was to keep him with you,
staying close to him,
but now I know that by loving someone,
you just need him to be happy.
Whenever I see him smile, the clouds just seem to lift.
I don't know why either.
I once told myself that being together with him makes my feelings go deeper,
but after he left me, the hurt went deeper as time goes by.
It is said that the pain subsides after a period of time,
while mine seemed to be different and the hurt started to become more painful.
The love that we give is only the love that we keep,
I can't give him the love of other's, neither did mine touch his heart.
I can't possibly be so selfish everytime.
If you love somebody, let them go,
for if they return, they were always yours.
And if they don't, they never were.
He was never mine.
He just can't stop doing hurtful things.
That impact was so great that it can make my tears flow.
Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.
All these while people said I've been so stubborn,
they told me he's not a nice guy, well I don't think they're right.
Because we come to love not by finding a perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
And I see him as someone so perfect, someone so special who caught my heart.
But all these while, it has been 59 days, my heart's not listening to me.
It's been confusing me.
I don't know if I'm hating or loving.
How can this love become hatred in the end?
I shouldn't have chosen this path.. Shouldn't have called him up on the 7th.
I shouldn't have melted from the sight of his winks outside the old school,
I shouldn't even have trusted him for what he's said in the past.
I shouldn't have listened to what others said,
I shouldn't have gave him a chance to land myself in this state.
I was writing about him on my foolscap yesterday,
about how I miss the way he hinted me he wants a kiss,
and how I love that smell of him when he hugs me.
A few moments later Tina walked over and told me she saw him.
He told her to tell me to stop writing his name on my hands anymore.
My tears just flowed down, and I scribbled the whole paper.
Crushed it when I left, and I can still remember how he called me dumb.
It's not about how he treats me,
it's just that he's not the Shaun I used to know anymore.
Crying won't change anything, at least it makes me feel better.
He doesn't know that.
What he only knows is that I'm stupid enough to cry.
I thought I was the stupid one whom he got to play with.
He doesn't love me anymore, so just wish him luck to find a better one bah (:
Loving him was painful, enduring his ignorance was difficult, bearing with his coldness was hard, forgetting him is impossible.
but I'll forget him one day, I hope.
